i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
i out mim tonsoeep
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