my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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