You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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