Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize