we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
My vagina just clenched in fear
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