he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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