I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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