It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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