i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We're too hungover to prance.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
