I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize