she was so not down for the gang bang
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
