2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
