Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
