marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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