I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize