im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
