In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize