He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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