he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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