yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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