"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
