I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
When did we convert life to cartoon?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
