Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
