Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
