I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
