sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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