i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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