why didn't you poke me back
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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