Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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