My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
