All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
