i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
