Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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