Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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