that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I just found a bag of teeth...
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
