Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
