haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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