Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
