Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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