Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
