At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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