I think I am morally bankrupt
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize