i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
