I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
