my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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