You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
