you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
