Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
