My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
