lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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