from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
