sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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