I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
