I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
