Quick, to the slutcave!
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
