Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
