Quick, to the slutcave!
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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