I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
