My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
