I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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