there was a trapeze. enough said
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
