I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
