I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
